CPR and... not really

I did a dumb thing just now.
I tried resuscitating a text a wrote for a class in Amsterdam.
I got a 9.0 for that paper, and reading it now I was all 'holy shit, where'd I get all these? what was I smoking that time?" and "why do most of my papers written in Europe sound more profound and well thought-of?"
I tried looking for a soft copy of this paper, and well-- all my other papers, and reality sunk in.
Of course the thumb drive I used for that got corrupted during finals week in Bilbao.
Fuck.

I tried retyping them, and I don't know if it's just plain laziness or all of a sudden I just felt gloomier.

Is it really over for me? Am I just reliving past energies, and all those promises of what could have been?

I need to get better. Stat.